by James D. Irwin

Things that happened today but in the past include…

1605— Guy Fawkes is arrested, much to the delight of Parliament and fireworks companies.

1872— Susan B. Anthony votes in US election despite being a woman. She is fined $100, and becomes Susan B. Angry.

1916— Poland is created by the Act of November 5th, and everyone lived happily ever after…

1937— Adolf Hitler holds secret meeting declaring his plans for lebensraum, or ‘living space’. Ends badly for all concerned.

1967— Hither Green Rail crash kills 49 people, survivors include Bee Gee Robin Gibb, who later wrote a song about the experience.

2006— Saddam Hussein sentenced to death, on account of that nasty genocide nonsense he was involved in.

Birthday cake and party bag for…

1913— Vivien Leigh, although frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn.

1931— Ike Turner, American singer and husband/abuser of Tina.

1941— Art Garfunkel, one half of popular duo Simon and Garfunkel, before going solo to launch his own chain of restaurants.

1958— Robert Patrick, best known for being killed in action sequels (The Terminator, Die Hard), and being an inadequate replacement for Mulder on The X-Files.

1959— Bryan Adams, Canadian singer-songwriter who wouldn’t get his first real six-string for nearly ten years.

1965— Famke Janssen, strong-thighed Bond girl.

1974— Ryan Adams, American Bryan Adams, minus the ‘B’ and the talent.

And we fondly remember, remember…

1991— Fred MacMurray, American actor whose life insurance may have paid off double indemnity.

1991— Robert Maxwell, media mogul who fell off his luxury yacht and drowned, proving vast riches have their drawbacks.

Finally, remember, remember… it might be easier to write it down. It’s Guy fawkes night.