Vampires Suck … Sucked

Following the frankly underwhelming films that have helped in spawning the teenage craze that is Twilight, I think it’s safe to say that most of us over the age of fourteen were looking forward to a good old fashioned sarcastic response. Our prayers were answered by the latest spoof, Vampires Suck.

Having been released on the 15th of October and with a gothic intervention involving Dracula looming, the film was the perfect excuse to get away from the desk. I think what I was hoping for was inspiration, and at the very least some laughs. Disappointingly the reality was quite the opposite.

The film simply failed to amuse. The slapstick comedy was painful to watch and not in the desired way; the jokes and puns were old and overused, and the parodies just seemed really half-hearted.

The film’s only saving grace had to be Jenn Proske’s acting. She played ‘Becca Crane’ (Bella’s takeoff) and had Kristen Stewart’s teenage angst and awkwardness down to a tee. There was in fact an uncanny likeness which was interesting to watch.

Unfortunately, one brilliant bit of casting couldn’t save the film, especially when considering that the writer-come-directors Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are the spoof legends.

They brought us Spy Hard, Scary Movie, Scarier Movie, Scary Movie 3, Date Movie, Scary Movie 4, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, Disaster Movie and now Vampires Suck. They managed to make the cringe worthy hilarious, but having watched all of these films the latest was a surprising shock, for it was only cringe-worthy and definitely not hilarious.

As a result, the film only managed to notch-up a rating of 3.3 out of 10 on IMDB. My anticipation and love for sarcastic wit was snuffed, and I was saddened that Vampires Suck failed to lampoon Twilight. Oh God when, when will the teenage phenomenon end?!