Media-manipulated folks are demanding a panic button for Facebook – what they aren’t aware of is the rapid popularity of fraping. This might sound bad, but it’s actually the best thing since social networking.
Victims of frape, originally coined as F-rape and otherwise known as ‘Facebook rape’, will know all too well the suffering I am about to illustrate here (for those of you with fragile mental conditions or severe squeamishness it is highly recommended you avert your naïve eyes NOW):
It happened so mysteriously, it was as if I’d never left Facebook – or rather I’d always been at the keyboard but instead of the normal me it was that schizophrenic personality that wishes to destroy my online reputation from its heart. After several hours of innocent absence I return to my profile, only to discover the damage done to my social existence in such elite secrecy. Status corrupted with the heinous phrase “loves to suck enormous c***”; personal message rewritten to portray me as some mildly disturbed member of the BNP. To my horror, details about my gender, political persuasion and religious views were also subjected to this foul abuse. And then the worst is realised: my profile picture has been replaced with a graphic image of a penis. The sheer depth of the frape was startling. It was as if my whole life had become one big public joke, with me at the centre of all the torturous social dissent. And you know what hurts the most? It was my best friend who…who…fraped me.
The above illustration is constructed entirely through imagination and is no reference to a real occurrence of frape. However, it is by no means an exaggeration of the traits of the average frape (the hypothetical victim whose narrative I used is merely fragile-minded for effect). The real deal is very similar to my hypothetical case study, and in some cases it taunts the boundaries of conceivable frape to reach levels of near absurdity. But perhaps absurd is too weak a word to imply the mind-bending impish beauty of the perfect frape.
Now all this description and discussion about something that sounds all too similar to one of society’s greatest taboos could be perceived as a little off-colour. But don’t be fooled by the coinage of the action – frape is fun. I can testify to this assertion. For those of you who may still be confused about the nature of frape (if you are, you’re clearly not a slave to Facebook yet) I will elaborate: frape is fundamentally a secretive or swift changing of a friend’s Facebook profile, whether it be just a status frape or a magnificent friend frape, which is the changing of most or all of a person’s profile. If you go to Urban Dictionary you will discover definitions akin to this one, although they offer various other possibilities for the word frape, such as the raping of larger fruits like pumpkins (now that’s not so peachy).
Simply understanding the methodology of frape is not enough. To fully comprehend the concept of frape you must also familiarise yourself with the reason of frape (is it just me or is frape starting to sound like some sort of abstract state of mind like euphoria or insanity)? Frape is not done solely to embarrass its victims; it is also a measure of social discipline that exercises humility as its influence. In the most basic cases frape simply goes unnoticed or isn’t identified as a threat to social standing, but take it a step further and you start to witness a form of frape that is intended to discipline the absent-minded user whose profile has been abused, a sort of tough love for the victims.
As a victim of frape, made wiser by the evil act, I have personally experienced the rabid attraction that ensues following a successful frape. From what I’ve witnessed it’s almost addictive; once you’ve spotted someone’s fraping success you must have your say. And often your desire to frape will increase and your fingers will succumb to the delights of devouring someone’s information and cultivating your own superbly crude spin on their identity. Yes, from this enthusiasm it appears obvious that I too have become a frapist. The notion itself is far too fun to ignore or avoid. If you use Facebook more than the average user you will almost be guaranteed to temporarily trash someone’s online reputation for the sake of the shock and humility you will induce.
In a weird way it is kind of empowering; your presence on Facebook is somehow enhanced and your skills at infiltrating personal space are honed. But don’t take this the wrong way either. The concise truth of it is frape is really all about p******g off your mates and teaching them to not let their guard down. Obviously because of the opportunistic modus operandi of frapists there is an obstruction to the act in that you must take a chance when it arrives. Once the window is open the editing can begin, with usually hilarious results. In effect, when you consider how no one can force a frape, unless you’ve managed to learn someone’s password, frape is actually a mandatory response to an open profile. Noticing the absence of its user and the tantalising urge to dress up as the deviant without suffering legal consequences, you automatically assume the role of the frapist in the circumstances. It is a power you cannot deny, an instinctive compulsion to do evil in the name of what is fun and fiendish.
On the contrary, you could suggest that the process of frape is a subconscious submission by the victim, one that is voluntary but not apparent on the face of it. The victim could well be the mastermind behind the act of social deviance, clandestinely prepared to allow an infiltrator the chance to carry out a successful frape.
That is just my lay speculation – something I would like to believe but probably know isn’t true. Because we all know just how easy it is to get fraped. You don’t have to be Mr Forgetful to rise from your chair and walk off to the kitchen or nearest vending machine for a snack while leaving your Facebook profile a naked target to the keen eyes of the frapist hawk – you will get struck and you will find out. Being a serial frapist I have learnt that to achieve the most publicity with your frape you have to employ underhanded tactics like distraction to ensure that the user will forget they are logged-in and leave their profile to your mercy. As time goes by you become so comfortable with frape that you start to believe it’s the reason Facebook was invented.
One thing’s for sure: it’s contagious. Like the common cold, if you come into contact with the acts of a frapist, you will inevitably long for your chance to frape one of your friends – a sort of innocuous internet revenge. I have yet to brave the controversy of fraping a stranger. Such acts of daring may soon emerge, but for now just keep your eye out; there’s almost always a frapist about.