Playing with other gamers can be one of the most enjoyable things you can get out of a game; the boiling blood, the rush of adrenaline, the competitive streak which you never thought you had suddenly surfaces and erupts in a flurry of excitement. But there always seem to be some gaming characters which appear time and time again…
The Seasoned Pro
The one who has obviously spent a heck of a lot of time playing the game. They know the controls off by heart, the levels like the back of their hands and they even know where every single power-up and shortcut is. 99% of the time they will win whilst the other players look on in stunned awe. In some circles they are considered gods, and they like it!
The Lucky Beginner
The antithesis of the Seasoned Pro, the Lucky Beginner has never played the game before, does not know the controls or levels or shortcuts, yet somehow they win. In fact they often don’t play video games much at all. Quite how they do it is a mystery, however their luck usually only lasts for a couple of rounds, much to the relief of the Seasoned Pro.
The Bad Winner
Often subject to loathsome glaring, the Bad Winner is good at the game, and they know it. They win…a lot. And they gloat…a lot. As if it wasn’t enough to win, the Bad Winner must inform the other players that they are ‘rubbish’, ‘useless’ and in general not worthy of playing against them. All one can do is revel in the priceless look on their faces when they do lose.
The Sore Loser
Just like the Bad Winner, the Sore Loser is not the best companion for gaming. Unlike the Bad Winner, the Sore Loser is not good at the game, and they hate it. They sulk and moan and think the game is ‘stupid’. The most common excuse for their losing is that ‘there’s something wrong with the controller.’ There’s no harm in losing, but just try telling them that.
The Humble Winner
Who doesn’t like a Humble Winner? Yes, it is annoying that they have beaten you, but you can’t stay mad at them for long for they often compliment the skills of the other players. A wise choice of opponent, the Humble Winner is good at encouraging the runners-up to try again. They don’t always win of course, but when they do you don’t really mind.
The Gracious Loser
Not everyone can win. Someone always has to lose and no-one knows this better than the Gracious Loser. They don’t mind losing; for them it’s all about having fun, no matter the outcome. It’s not that they’re bad gamers; in fact they have been known to win every now and again. They just know how to take defeat with dignity, pride and of course grace.
The Button Basher
*Groan* It’s the Button Basher, the one who cannot be bothered to try and actually learn the controls, but rather instead just hit them randomly in the hope that they’ll do something. And what’s most annoying? Sometimes it works. If you see a character running aimlessly around, it’s the Button Basher. They have no skill, just very opposable thumbs.
The Devoted Failure
Unlike the Button Basher, the Devoted Failure spends time learning all the controls, button combinations, tracks, levels, shortcuts, power-ups and everything in between. Yet they just can’t win! It’s frustrating for them to never win and as a result the Devoted Failure can often turn into a Sore Loser. So if you come across one of them, just let them win once.
Know-It-Alls tend to be unaccustomed to the multiplayer society. They think that co-op means that shop down the road where they buy their Haribo and Diet Coke rather than co-operative. They tell the others where they’re going wrong and think that they are always right. Most of the time they wish they were playing the game on their own. So let them.
The Dark Horse
They’re quiet. They’re deceptive. They’re ruthless. The Dark Horse spends most of the game neither winning nor losing. They seem perfectly content with this fact; they’re just having a good time. But then they strike. They come in from the outside and demolish the other players, who can only sit there, mouths agape in wonderment. Beware the Dark Horse.
“Do you wanna play?” “No, I’m fine just watching.” This is the mating call of the Spectator. They really don’t mind just watching others play which saves arguments when you don’t have enough controllers. However, proceed with caution. If the Spectator does decide to play they will have seen all of your gaming secrets and will use them against you.
BOO! HISS! A close relation to the Sore Loser, the Cheater hates the fact they can’t win, and will do something about it. Whether it is waving their hands in front of your face, pushing you over or telling you to take a shortcut which is in fact a bottomless pit, the Cheater is bad news. You must banish them forever or they will only grow stronger.